My PathFor being myself

I had followed the path I was told to: Going to university, applying for jobs, without really feeling in control of my destiny. Aged 25, I finally realised that the only time I was truly alive when I was creating, and that office jobs, and waitressing were killing my soul.

What I truly desired deep down, was to move my body. I had to fight so many of my conditioned thoughts (the urge to please my family and others, the urge to be sensible and fit in to go for my dreams) but I finally did it: I left Leeds and went to London to pursue a career in dance.

The journey was tough: I believed I had to do everything to not only survive but thrive: I needed to prove to everyone I had made the right choice: how dare I become an artist and ignore everything that had set out for me and fail!

The journey took many twists and turns: I faced battles with money, battles of ill health due to over exertion, battles of energy and power dynamics: making bad choices of partners that led to abuse and loss of confidence, battles trying to raise the money to go for my dreams, and most of all, battles with my self: I really hit rock bottom in terms of self belief and self worth on the journey: who was I to think I could be a dancer?

Contemporary dance was also a completely new genre for me: and it was hard to learn this very different way of moving. I also took up breaking, and as a bgirl, for years I learnt to value my coaches voice over my own, to push down the voice telling me when my body needed to stop, when to rest, when to see nature, when to say no … I was in a very male dominated world and somehow I lost my way and my ability value the feminine even further …

Thank fully, at my most rock bottom place, I found alchemy, and thought the journey has been long and tough and taken a lot of reprogramming, I came out the other side.

I had a lot of healing to do: I was broken spiritually and emotionally. I had to unlearn my unhealthy relationship to work I had to learn to love myself. I went back to Brazil and let Oxum heal my heart. I went back into yoga, retraining as a Vinyasa, and then a Kundalini teacher. I did a lot of work around boundaries and consent, and I delved into work around healing the feminine, as well as alchemy.

I realised the true secret in life is I can be whoever I want to be, that I can try on all these hats … I can even eat grapes (since forever I thought grapes were the one most disgusting thing on earth … but as I embarked on this journey, I realised that even this was an illusion: something my 4 yr old self made up!) Now I relish in life, in all this deliciousness unapologetically!

I can’t believe how much my life has changed as all my limiting self beliefs and fears have slowly fallen off. I took this work to mastery level and along the way met all sorts of wonderful mentors including Sri Mooji and William Whitecloud.

This is a constant work, but I am proof: it can be done, and the more you focus your attention on this process, the more your creative genius grows: the more wealth you create, the more joy, and the more in alignment you are with your true purpose.

You are beyond powerful: you can create a life of your dreams. Alchemy is a process to unleash that super(s)hero version of you: it is all about manifesting a destiny, a truth, a life beyond your wildest imagination

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